Brat, the Outlawing of IVF and Thoughts on Being

Words: Sihaam Naik

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My first listen to the Brat album serendipitously brought me to a park, where electric green trees beckoned me closer as if they were part of the listening experience. Rows of Lime bikes jeered me as I walked past the winding path toward a busy playground. The now all too familiar dregs of a synth played, introducing me to the penultimate song on the album: I Think About It All the Time. The melody intertwined with the rustling leaves and distant laughter, but all I could think about were the lyrics.

"If I don’t run out of time, would it give my life a new purpose?" the song questioned, followed by a pragmatic: "Should I stop my birth control?"

The lyrics struck a chord with me, stirring thoughts that I - and many others in my generation - often grapple with. We seem to be rife with baby fever, despite Gen Z’s inclination to delay motherhood as much as possible. In the echo chamber created by social media algorithms targeting women, it’s impossible to escape the concept of motherhood: From "A Day in the Life of a Gen-Z mom" videos to glimpses into the lives of DINK (Dual Income, No Kids) couples, the idea of having children is omnipresent.

In the current political climate, the issue of motherhood feels even more pressing. It’s a slippery slope when laws are dictated on women’s bodies, especially with reproductive rights being snatched away in the US following the overturning of Roe v. Wade. This decision to deny the legal right to abortion has reignited debates about women’s autonomy and the right to choose, casting a shadow over the personal decisions that many women face regarding motherhood.
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As a lesbian, these thoughts are further complicated by additional layers of societal and legal challenges. Despite a lingering desire to have kids, I know I’m a long shot away from a surprise bun in the oven. I know that my eventual journey into the thick of it is intertwined with the inaccessibility to reproductive technologies like IVF (in vitro fertilisation). For most same-sex couples, the journey to parenthood often involves significant hurdles, including legal battles and financial strains.

In many countries, IVF is not readily accessible because of its cost, to lesbian couples, forcing them to navigate a labyrinth of regulations and financial barriers. Additionally, the legal recognition of same-sex parents remains inconsistent, leading to situations where non-biological parents lack legal rights over their children. This legal limbo can have devastating consequences, as seen in recent moves by Italy's right-wing government to restrict the recognition of same-sex parents on birth certificates.

Italy, which legalised same-sex civil unions in 2016, stopped short of allowing gay couples the right to adopt in 2023 amid opposition from rightwing parties and the Catholic church. IVF is banned for homosexual couples in Italy, and the Italian parliament recently approved a bill that imposes hefty fines and prison sentences for Italians who go abroad to have children via surrogacy. This toxic legal environment forces many couples - from all scores of the Kinsey scale - into difficult decisions and leaves children born to same-sex parents in a precarious legal situation.

For most same-sex couples, the journey to parenthood often involves significant hurdles, including legal battles and financial strains.

A recent ruling from the Alabama Supreme Court further complicates the landscape for reproductive rights. The court declared that frozen embryos are considered children, making it possible for individuals to be held liable for accidentally destroying them. This decision has cast doubt on the future of IVF treatments in Alabama, with numerous healthcare providers in the state suspending the service. The case in Alabama originated from a wrongful death lawsuit brought by couples whose embryos were lost at a fertility clinic. The embryos were destroyed accidentally when a patient handled and dropped them. Initially, a lower court ruled that embryos did not qualify as persons or children; thus, a wrongful death lawsuit could not proceed. However, the Alabama Supreme Court overturned this decision, stating that frozen embryos are indeed classified as children, extending wrongful death protections to all unborn children regardless of their location. Not only has it suspended IVF in many parts of Alabama, it could impact other states as well, just as the abortion ban affected 16 states, including Alabama. 

In a society that increasingly dictates the terms of our reproductive rights, it’s crucial to advocate for policies that respect individual autonomy and provide equitable access to reproductive technologies. Whether through legal reforms, public awareness campaigns, or support for advocacy groups, we must continue to fight for a future where all individuals and couples can make their own choices about parenthood without fear of discrimination or legal repercussions.

As I walked through the park, these thoughts swirled in my mind. The freedom to choose when and if to have children is fundamental to our personhood. Yet, it’s under threat, creating an environment where decisions are influenced not just by personal desires but by external pressures and legal constraints. For myself and my partner, this reality adds a layer of complexity to an already challenging decision. The notion of having kids is more of a monetary decision than an emotional or existential one. With the cost of living crisis in full swing, recent studies show that more than half of Gen Z and millennials don’t want to have kids due to the cost of living. Most of us don’t own homes, require both partners to work full-time and simply can’t afford to have children. For now, I'll content myself with giggling at baby-burping videos, browsing baby clothes racks at charity stores, and curating a list of baby names in my notes app, keeping the dream alive in small, tangible ways.