Countess Luann on Eternal Youth, Her Famous Fans and Being the Greatest Housewife of All Time

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Countess Luann is an icon: with sixteen years in the limelight and counting, she has given us so much. On Bravo’s *Real Housewives of New York,* viewers watched Luann evolve from an uptight WASP locked in an unhappy marriage to a European count, through prison, sex with pirates, reality TV fame, and into her second act as a gay icon and Cabaret queen.
Even though she’s not on *The Real Housewives of New York* any more, Luann’s still on our screens, after starring in Bravo spin-off *Luann & Sonja: Welcome to Crappie Lake* with her fellow housewife Sonja Morgan last year. Ahead of her upcoming seven-date Cabaret tour in the UK and Ireland next February, we caught up with the first lady of reality TV. (*Note to self: be cool. Don’t be all uncool.)*

Hi, Luanne, you look amazing. It's so nice to meet you. I am such a fan. It's such an honour to meet you. Should I call you the Countess? Should I call you Luanne?

Well, whatever you prefer. People call me Countess because they just like saying it.

I'll call you the Countess. I feel like you've earned that. I feel like you are the Countess.

After 16 years of marriage, I've earned it.

So, Luanne, you are iconic. I think, personally, you're one of the most iconic housewives of all time. Do you think you're one of the most iconic housewives of all time? Do you think you're the GOAT?

I think I paid my dues. I do not consider myself an icon, but a lot of people do, and that's such a huge nod to a really long career.

Who do you think is the greatest housewife of all time?

I think Lisa Vanderpump, right? Kyle from Beverly Hills. Bailey from Atlanta. Lisa Rinna. They are iconic housewives, and I consider myself to be among them. But I don't go around thinking I'm such an icon. This is not who I am, you know, but it's such an honour to be considered an icon.

What do you think of the next-gen housewives? Who do you rate out of the newbies?

You know, I really connect with Brynn. Brynn and I see each other at events in New York. Jenna Lyons, I don't know her, but I have a lot of respect for her. I like Erin because I've met her a couple of times.

Did they come to you for advice? And what do you tell them if so?

Well, you know, it's so funny because I had a conversation with Erin, and she said, “We need more spice on the show. How did you guys make all this drama?” And we were just living our lives. And we are real friends, right? So we've known each other for a long time.

So when you know somebody that well, it's like: ‘Are you going to talk to me about that?’ ‘Well, listen, I know this about you.’ It's really interesting because the dynamic is different when they are old friends and so I think that makes a big difference in terms of whether a franchise works well or not.

What do you think of the new Real Housewives Of New York reboot? Are you a fan? I don't think it's very good. The fans don't like it.

Well, you know, I don't watch the new reboot, but I've seen a couple of episodes and, you know, let's just put it this way. They're not us. They're different women. They're all fabulous in their own right. But that doesn't make for a hot show.

I mean, it's so boring. Luanne, I've been watching it. It's so boring.

I know everybody misses us. That's really sweet. And like I said, people are people. We were really friends. We still are. I still see all the girls. I’m in Beverly Hills right now. So I'm going to see the girls tonight. Kathy Hilton is having a party at her house for the holidays. I'm going to see all the housewives.

Bethenny did a video saying that Bravo needs to get you girls back and show you respect. If Andy Cohen would give you that call, are you down?

I always say I will cross that bridge when I get to it… I've moved on through a lot of other projects, so the offer would need to be really good for me to come back to the Housewives.

That means they need to pay you loads of money - and I just want them to do that because nobody does it like you guys. I think that old RHONY before the reboot is maybe the greatest of all the franchises. You've given us so much. I just want to say thank you. Like, thank you for giving us so much. When you look back, how do you feel about your journey?

When I started the show, I was married, and I had a family to protect. What most people don't know is that you know, my marriage was already suffering, and so it's just trying to protect my family. I just moved back from Europe, and, you know, nobody really called me by my first name.

It was always, you know, Countess or Mrs De Lesepps, so I was kind of used to it because I had been gone for so long. I lived in Milan and worked in Italian television. Then I got married to the Count, and then I came back to the States, and Jill Zarin walked up to me and said, "You know, I'm doing this TV show. I think you'd be perfect for it."

The show came to me and we got paid barely anything, and we didn't know it would take off. At that point, we had no idea. Then, other franchises followed, and it just became a huge success. I've changed over the years. I've grown, I've gotten more relaxed with my own children, even, because, you know, who doesn't love that episode where I do table manners? What I have is a living photo album of my life, seeing my children grow up, seeing me grow as an individual, by myself, without having a husband, you know. And then I would meet Jacques, who was amazing on the show. Everybody loved Jaques, and then there was Tom, but we won't talk about Tom. However, as they say, love is blind!

Whatever happened to the pirate? That is the most iconic episode of Housewives of all time.

I talk about the pirate in my show, because I play in Marry F Kill. And they always, they always go back to the same three Tom, Harry or the pirate. Well, I've already married Tom, fucked the pirate, and I kill Harry. The Pirate lives in Miami. He cut his hair off, unrecognisable. He came on Andy Cohen's show, and Andy asked him point blank: Did you sleep with Luanne? And he's like, No, I slept with Sonja.

You know, what people don't realise is that I was dating Jacques at the time. I had a great time with the pirate, but I kicked him out. It's a long story, but I just filmed the next day, and he was at the house, and the girls didn't know he was at the house until one of the producers said, that's how Luanne got home last night. The girls would have no idea. And, you know, we had a party at the house. Sonja is the one who actually ended up sleeping with the pirate but people still think I did. And you know what, at this point, why would I lie about it? I would wear it like a badge. Yes, I slept with the pirate. It's not true, but people believe it. So, you know what? Let people believe what they want to believe.

How do you still look so good? What's your secret to eternal youth?

I think it's hereditary. There's not enough Pond’s Cold Cream in the world, right? I think it starts with just having the lucky skin and, you know, my mother's 95, and she has no wrinkles on her forehead. My mother's unbelievable, very good skin, you know, a good lifestyle, eating healthy, and, you know, exercise and doing cabaret shows. I think happiness is the key to looking good because when you're happy, you know that exudes, and you're beautiful already with that.

So I heard that Mighty Hoopla last year was absolutely incredible. How did it feel to be drawing the biggest crowd of the whole festival?

It was amazing. It was mind-blowing. To be amongst that kind of talent in the UK, and having the bands know every song that I sing and sing along with me… I was blown away. I loved doing the festival. It was magical to me. It was like being with Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory. I mean, because the queens in Mighty Hoopla, they really go all out.

So you famously sang, ‘Money can't buy you class. Elegance is learned.’ So, what do you think is the essence of being classy? Like, how would you define being classy?

Classy, for me, begins with respect and respect for other people. Being kind and having respect for other people is the epitome of class, being comfortable in your own skin.

When did you become a gay icon?

I think all of my music really connected to the LGBT community because it was all about how I can be who I want to be, and I don't have any qualms about it. I think that's what really connects to the community because my music is all about that. It's like, you do you, you, you be you, and who are others to judge you?

So you famously said ‘Even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes’. So, what would you say is your biggest mistake?

Well, I, you know, I don't have any regrets because I love all of it, because I've learned from it. I've grown from it. Falling down to the deepest depths of darkness when I had the ‘kerfuffle’ [going to jail], a little intervention, then rising like the Phoenix on the cabaret stage.

Who are your famous fans?

Chrissy Teigen, Rihanna, Pink. Madonna. Wow, Lorde. Lorde has come to my show in New York. Madonna apparently gets dressed to Money Can’t Buy Class. She told my assistant, “I love it.” And, you know, people like Miley Cyrus. Nicola from Bridgerton.

I think the thing that I love about you, Countess, is that even when you're down, you know, like, when you got arrested, you still made it iconic because you rose above it. What advice would you give to anyone who might be having a low point in their life?

When you're down, the only way to go is up. And I always say, if you don't think you're great, nobody else is going to think you're great. It starts with you talking to yourself and being positive to yourself. Because we love to beat ourselves up. You know, we're our worst enemy. [Tell yourself], I made a mistake. I screwed up, and it doesn't have to define me. There’s always another chance.

Have you eaten a bologna sandwich since you were arrested?

No! I used to love Bologna until they threw me a bologna sandwich in the slammer.

What can we expect from your cabaret tour next year?

It’s almost sold out already, which makes me so happy that the fans in London, you know, really love my show. And you know, cabaret is a personal story. I pick my song, then I pick the story I'm going to tell. It's like a big sing-along.It’s cabaret meets comedy meets pop culture meets a fashion show.

I can’t wait. But we also need to get you back on RHONY. Andy Cohen and Bravo need to write you a check.

They need to write me a big ass check.

Countess Luann on Eternal Youth, Her Famous Fans and Being the Greatest Housewife of All Time

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