Why I’m Jealous of People Who Love Japan
Just like last summer when everyone was in Italy, it seems like everyone is in Japan these days. The ‘cool’ Japan is officially back - maybe it never left - but nonetheless its exoticism is in full swing. Most tourists I encounter say everything is as they expected, or even excelled in what they anticipated. Old people smiling back at you on the streets like from a Ghibli film (literally never happened to me), the friendliness (I would never describe Japan as a friendly country unless you are travelling with a foreigner or in the suburbs), the kindness that people will go above and beyond to help you (Tokyo? It’s a city, no one is kind enough to help you with anything), the Michelin star level service with affordable prices (this is true), and best of all, the unreal order and structure while holding a population of 14 million people. I can see and understand how the unfamiliarity is strikingly attractive to many.
“Japan is so cool.” That’s what my foreign friends and ex-lovers will tell me whenever they visited. I think it’s a cool place too, sure―the best bowl of ramen you’ll ever have in your life that is less than $8, the little phrases that is hard to translate into English like ‘irashaimase’, ‘itadakimasu’ and ‘gochisoma’ all to show respect to the people who are eating and made your food. The excessive apologising of public transportations for being 10 minutes late from schedule. It’s all things I appreciate as well, but it’s without saying that the Japan foreigners are experiencing and the Japan I experienced throughout my life is so different. I find it hard to genuinely be excited with them about Japan. Is the Japan they find so intriguing really the same Japan I have known for 30 years?
Growing up in Japan as a hafu, a term used for children who are part Japanese or refers to people who are multi-ethnic whose parents are from different countries, you are constantly reminded that you are ‘other’. I was born and raised in Japan and I have a Japanese father and an American mother; I find myself explaining my racial ambiguity, bilingual proficiency and bicultural ability to strangers like, “Yes, I am Japanese but …*insert any life story I explained in the past*” to emphasise that I am Japanese but for reasons X,Y and whatever, I am equal parts more and less than that.
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The daunting reminder that I am ‘other’ did not help my sense of security in a place I call home. I always thought I was Japanese enoughーI even tried really hard to become ‘enough’ to fit in, but people in Japan have always put me in a certain box. I was ok with it until I wasn’t anymore. And I see myself overwhelmed with the urgency to decide where I stand as Japanese, as roaring hype towards Japanese culture arises once again.
Whatever Japan creates regarding food, pop culture, animation to fashion, it’s always set up to be a viral trend. Japan has an abundance of cultural superpowers attracting foreigners, or should I say the “soft power”, a term that was coined by Joseph S. Nye Jr. to explain how a country can influence another country’s wants through intangible resources like culture. Just a couple of social media posts of Akihabara, or Shibuya crossing is enough convincing for people to think, yup Japan is the best.
I recently saw this Instagram post where the tourist board of Scotland dressed a couple of Shetland ponies in cute little cardigan sweaters made for their big chunky bodies to have people come visit Scotland! Can you imagine? Some countries need to go to the extent of customising animal clothing for their tourist board posts, while Japan can simply rely on the powers of establishments and existing culture as advertisement enough ― a superpower for sure. If a normal person picks up trash on the street it means nothing, but if a ‘superhero’ or ‘superstar’ does the same thing, it’s something to talk about. That’s the power that Japanese culture holds ― anywhere you go and anything you do here is ‘super’. It’s supposedly hype worthy, even when the things you are doing are not that special in any other context, any other country.
As I see the overwhelming love and hype that Japan is receiving, I find myself seething with envy. I feel jealous of the foreigners who profess their love of Japan and see a beauty of Japan that I cannot. I’m completely frustrated that the Japan I’ve experienced is not all that cool. Most cases, I find myself grimly smiling to people who say, “You’re from Japan? That’s amazing.” I never felt particularly proud or attached to the country I’m from to be like “Yeah! Japan is really great! You should come visit.” I have never been a strong advocate of my own country.
The funny thing is, even Japanese people disagree with me. As a matter of fact, many believe wholeheartedly that Japan is cool as it is. In recent research, it was revealed that 70% of Gen Z living in Japan are very proud of Japan: the main reasons being safety, food and cleanliness ― the protruding bits Japan is known for. Gen Z’s also admit that 90% (!) of them do not plan on going abroad anytime soon. The ideal future for many of them is to settle in Japan while being able to travel occasionally abroad. They are completely comfortable and content being in Japanーa feeling I struggle to find.
The treatment of being ostracised as ‘other’ from a young age has conditioned my way of thinking to always be self-aware of where I belong. I desperately wanted validation from Japan, but when you love someone or love something, it should feel like they have your back. I’m not so sure if I ever felt like Japan had my back, no matter how friendly or clean the streets of Tokyo are.
Words: Megumi Koiwai
