How to Survive Xmas with Ms Sharon Le Grand and Fi McCluskey
In the wise words of our favourite festive pair: MOVE YOUR BUM! WIGGLE YOUR HIPS! SHAKE YOUR TITS! BECAUSE IT’S… CHRISTMAS BITTTCHH!! That’s right gang, we have the twosome behind the brand new Xmas anthem It’s Christmas Bitch! on the Dollhouse this week to give their top tips on surviving the season.
The gals, Ms Sharon Le Grand, a staple in the East London drag scene who is about to appear in Travis Alabanza’s newest play Sound of the Underground, and Fi McCluskey, singer and songwriter who’s worked with HorseMeat Disco and Honey Dijon to create some of the fabbest tracks you’ve ever heard, sat down with us to dive into their top tips for making it through to 2023.
What to Wear?
The pair recommend having three looks in your arsenal for 25th December - You need to do about three outfit changes on the big day. Do a morning look, a dinner look and an evening look. Start off with something nice in the morning to do the prezzies and bucks fizz. Then if you're going out to do voluntary work, maybe put on a nice hat, a nice wig and a bit of makeup.
This will slowly get dishevelled over dinner, so you’ll need to change again. To finish it all off, put on something nice to dance around in the living room. Why have less when you can have more? And what’s more festive than not one fab look, not two fab looks, but three fab looks? And a partridge in a pear tree, of course.
What to Give?
It’s all too easy to say “I’m the gift!” and leave it at that - believe us, coz Sharon did try to say it - but the best prezzie is usually something you’d want to get for yourself. She notes: “If someone’s getting me a present I don't like anything I can't wear. If it's not an accoutrement - something I can carry with me at all times - I don't want it.”
So if you’re buying people gifts, buy them something they can wear. This is also a great idea for a friend whose style you think could do with a revamp - make the gift something that will elevate their look. The best present is constructive criticism! Another gift that always goes down well is anything by Patti Smith. Records, books, a nice white vest top ala-Patti. If they don't like her, they were never your friend in the first place!
What to Eat?
There's a reason people only eat Christmas dinner once a year - it’s horrible! All the food in general is just terrible, Christmas pudding is fucking disgusting and the turkey… Turkey is like the Michelle of meats, it's horrible.
Sticking with the traditions of what to eat is pointless: I always have mayonnaise on my Christmas dinner. Why not add in something different that you love all year round, to make sure you’re really enjoying yourself?
And if all that fails, scoff loads of choccy so you’re too full to have any dry poultry. Chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sod the bird!
How to Enjoy It?
The build up to Christmas - the films, the music, the pageantry and the decor - is easy to love, but then when it gets to the actual Christmas Day, it’s easy to feel bogged down by tradition and family. Since deciding to do things our own ways, we’ve found it a lot more fun. Putting yourself and your needs first is a must! Alternatively; if you can you should do what Fi’s done and jet away to a hot sunny place for Christmas. Talking to boring relatives optional: I will be in Bangkok without any signal. Factor 50: essential!
You have to enjoy the merriment, the people and even the forced fun! Like we're all slotted in this house together for this day, and we must enjoy it. So what are we gonna do? ENJOY IT! It also helps if you’ve invited Ms Baileys, Johnnie Walker and Captain Morgan around to spread some festive cheer.
Last year towards the end of the day all I could say was ‘happy Christmas, happy life.’ And what is meant by that is if you have a nice Christmas, then you know you're in a good place: You have a happy life because you've got loved ones around you, doing what you want to do. Happy Christmas equals a happy life!
Check out the It’s Christmas Bitch! video, directed by Josh Quinton and Emma Jones, below.
Photography by Emma Jones and Ollie Mills
