XXX and LOL - Behind the Scenes as a Porn Producer
Make it stand out
Most people don’t realize this but, porn scenes actually have a script. Gag, I know. I’ll give you a moment to think of every free internet sexy movie you’ve consumed.
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Okay, stay with me.
I’m the reason you finish hard while clutching your phone in your sweaty palm. I’m the deliverer of your post-nut clarity (or guilt). I’m not a famous pornstar but close. I’m an award-winning producer/writer for one of the biggest porn factories on the web. Imagine me during small talk and the “So, what do you do for a living?” question gets brought up.
Porn script writing is not just a randomized rolodex of different pitched pleasure sounds. It’s a formulaic science, just like any other one. In my beaker are droplets of steamy cummies. I curate a symphony of moans. I want to manipulate bodies in such a way that resembles my wildest fantasies. But these internet men just wanna nut.
It’s art to me. I want to go beyond busting. I’m completely enamored by the journey - the destination is a given! When it comes to porn, I’m asking the hard-hitting questions: Who’s cumming? To what are you cumming? Where are you cumming? When are you cumming? Why are you cumming? And sometimes, how are you cumming?
___STEADY_PAYWALL___
I started off as an administrative assistant. I memorized the office coffee orders and lived under a mountain of file folders. Until one fateful day I spoke up and told the content team that I had experience in writing. Which was true! I was a theater kid growing up (proof that we are horny) and had written several plays. How much different could it be?
To my surprise - it was vastly different. My very first scene went viral. I was quaking. Beginning of 2020: a step sister stuck with her step brother in quarantine during COVID. She naively rips a hole into her face mask to neatly shove his cock in her mouth - she was so Covid conscious. This was when I first realized - wow, porn is camp. I’m gonna make it as camp as possible.
I am a queer, non-binary, first-generation Cuban-American, Fat Bitch. I so badly wish I could admin reveal myself to all the internet gooners who have so much to say about the content I make. They eat it up, scratching the plate with their horny forks. Sometimes. Other times I get comments like: “This is porn, stop doing the most! You’re not Scorsese”. I daydream about watching their faces melt once they realize someone they deem unattractive is responsible for their pleasure. These men are so critical of every single thing these girls do. They’re too skinny, they’re too fat, they’re too slutty, or not slutty enough. Girls can’t ever win.
“It’s like any other office job, except I have tits bouncing due at 9 AM. I see the world differently now. After almost 5 years in the industry, everything around me could be translated into a porno.”
Even the men sitting next to me in the office! These washed up metalheads with a ratty string for a ponytail barely hanging on to their balding heads. I hear them exclaim (unwarranted, mind you) “Why do her tits look like that? We have to photoshop the shit out of her!” I take a deep breath in, and exhale out all the rage stirring within me. I look over at his screen to see the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. We lock eyes and suddenly I’m self consciously looking down at my imperfect body.
It’s like any other office job, except I have tits bouncing due at 9 AM. I see the world differently now. After almost 5 years in the industry, everything around me could be translated into a porno. Did I make MTV “Parental Control” porn? I sure did. Did I capitalize on all the hot clown girls I see on the internet and create “Clussy”? Yup. Do my best friend and I collaborate on a Molly Moon inspired scene? Yeah, and it was totally creepishly sexy. Some people would disagree that any of those things are attractive, but in my opinion not only is nostalgia arousing, but also seeing your normal everyday surroundings as a source of sexual satisfaction elevates what your life usually looks like.
On the subject of sex and camp, my brain immediately jumps to Gwen Adora. She’s featured on Netflix’s Money Shot: The Pornhub Story and the most retweetable porn creator. Her audience roars for her ostentatious kooky cosplays such as Glee’s Slutty Sue Sylvester and the Pixar mom bod goddess Mrs. Incredible. I admire how her fans applaud her campiness while the dudes on my paysite throw tomatoes at me for it.
All of my favorite creators have one special thing in common: they are the complete antithesis of most of the content out there. Now, I don’t want you to think the industry is solely men in powersuits eating money salad. It’s actually a very empowering community of all kinds of people! Another special someone to add to your watchlist is my dear friend Anjali also known as BOARLORD. She is changing the game in the biz, literally (she made an amazing gloryhole furry game ”Plot Hole”. Go play it now!)
She is a South Asian fat trans artist, sex worker, and game developer who paved her own way in a world that doesn’t make much serious room for performers like her. In response to such a square world - she takes her work into her own hands. Becoming a multifaceted artist she writes, directs, shoots, lights, edits, costumes, and performs in all her films. I write to her asking what the perks of being an independent artist are vs. mainstream and she emails me back “If I have a particularly deranged idea I want to shoot, I shoot it. If I need to end a scene because I’m suddenly activated I can and I have, many times. Of course, working independently means you’re at the mercy of the whims of the payment processors like Visa and MasterCard. We don’t talk enough about how banks and credit card companies decide what is acceptable sexuality and how we've let them.”
The bank stuff is for a whole other article. We can get into that some other time.
All I have to say is: support sex workers, weird shit is sexy, pay for your porn, and dig deeper into things that are deemed “taboo”. You’ll discover that selling sex might just be an occupation that threatens capitalism. There is a world beyond the first page on Pornhub - maybe your new kink lies in the dusty double-digit section.